Thursday, October 18, 2012

Happy October 18th!

For me Living Large means sharing my life with those that I love, and espcially with that one special person that I love. My life would be nowhere near as large had I not met, wooed and married the love of my life. We have been married for thirty years, which means that next May 8th we will celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. While that is an important day in our relationship... the day we were married, there is another day that is just as important to us. We don't celebrate Valentine's Day. We celebrate another day, which is similar, but is exclusive to us and our personal love for one another. We celebrate the day that we first expressed our love to one another. For us, that day was October 18th, 1981, and so every October 18th we celebrate the day. A few years ago I presented my wife with a momento to commemorate that day.

Now maybe some of you out there are saying, "Come on Mike! Isn't it a little presumptuous to write your history in advance?" I don't think so. I think it is important to write your history and then use it as a road map to move down the road. Write it, then live it. What's wrong with that? I have no idea what our future may bring, but I know that we will face it with the Lord, and I know that we will face it together. Those two things I know... for sure.

Thank you, Donna. Thanks for having me. Thanks for standing by my side thru thick and thin. Thank you for sharing my joys and my heartaches. Happy October 18th, Love.

Here's something that I wrote a few years ago. It's about me and Donna. It's about my parents and grandparents, and my wife's mother and father and her grandparents. It's about all of the married couples who have stuck it out. It's about thousands and tens of thousands of couples whose marriages have stood the test of time.

Happy Love Day to all of you.

A Letter To Young Couples (Good News and Bad News)

I have some news for all of you young folks who are just starting out on the road towards matrimonial bliss. I don’t want to scare you unduly, but since I have traveled some distance down the same road, I thought that I would share with you what your journey may entail.

 First the bad news…

You have a lot of work ahead of you…. Years, and years of toil, tons of dirty diapers, countless sleepless nights with sick babies, day care bills, doctor bills, all kinds of bills, with no apparent end in sight. You’re going to get cranky. You’re going to cry a lot. You’re going to discover that your spouse has all kinds of irritating habits, which you hadn’t noticed during your courtship. You will have to work at getting along together. Your feet and your back are going to hurt a lot more. You’re not going to feel romantic, or even warm and fuzzy all of the time.

Your kids will get bigger, and you will shrink, except for your nose, which will seem to get larger, and droop significantly. You guys will notice that hair will begin to grow in places that it didn’t use to grow, like out of your ears, and on your back. Hair will no longer grow in places, where it use to grow, like on top of your head. Whatever hair you have left, will eventually turn white. You gals will notice that parts of you will begin to sag. You’ll get bags under your eyes, and wrinkles, lots of wrinkles.

Your kids will infuriate you, impoverish you, encumber you, and mock you for being out of touch with current culture. They will reject your advice and counsel, but never fail to take your money. They are likely to drag home stray dogs, cats, or worse yet mangy looking boyfriends, or spooky looking girlfriends. They will eat all of the food in your house, and leave the mess for you to clean up. Sometimes you will feel that you are trapped in a cycle of toil and drudgery, and nobody understands what you are experiencing, and nobody appreciates what you are doing.

It’s going to get harder to hear, and harder to read fine print. You will finally give up and buy multiple pairs of reading glasses from Walgreen’s. You will disperse them all over the house, because otherwise you can’t remember where you laid them down. It will become increasingly difficult to remember names. It will become increasingly difficult to do things that you use to be able to do, until finally one day you will quit trying. Pain and stiffness will become your constant companions, and you will long for your youth again.

Now for the good news… 

You will find happiness along the way, at the most unexpected times and places. You will find joy where God has left it for you. You will learn to be happy with what you have, instead of wishing for what you don’t have.

You will develop a kind of telepathy, which allows you to communicate your inner thoughts and moods to your spouse, even across a crowded room, with only your eyes.

You will remember the things that your seniors told you long ago. You will realize how wise that they were, and how much they must have loved you to have shared their wisdom with you.

One day, out of the blue, your children will thank you for all that you have done for them. They will ask how they can ever repay the debt that they owe to you. You will give them a bit of the good news, bad news… They owe you nothing. The debt that they owe is to their own children, to give them the same love and support that they have received from you.

Your love for your life mate will grow and grow, richer and deeper. It will intensify day by day, until it becomes the most powerful force in your lives. When the winds of life howl around you, it will sustain you. When the rains of travail beat against you, it will shelter you. You will cling to each other, and ride out the storms. He will be your anchor, and she will be your light.

Your names will become invariably linked together, until one is rarely spoken without the other.

Your love will draw you together, until your souls meet and you become one in Christ. You will live together, inwardly, in a place visible only to the two of you, where nothing can separate you except death.

Together you will experience joy, tribulation, laughter, tears, ecstasy, and pain. You will endure all things together. You will share all things together, and you will wish for eternity… together.


                                                                                                M.J. Smith

                                                                                                October, 2004