I have felt the prayers of so many friends and family in the past weeks. I appreciate those prayers so much. I need your help now... please pray for me... pray for me to cry. I realize that's a pretty strange prayer request, but it's what I need most of all right now, I think.
I know what some of you are thinking. You're thinking, "Christians shouldn't cry about losing loved ones who are in Christ anyway. Why shed tears, when we know that our loved ones are with the Lord?" Well, I respectfully disagree. I wrote a piece about this very thing a few years ago. I still believe it, but now I need to live it. Thanks for your help on this. I'll get back to you.
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Go Ahead And Cry
Christians are often questioned for crying during times of
loss and grief, like when a loved one dies. We are told by well meaning, but
misguided well-wishers that we should not be sad. We should not weep for those
who have died, because our loved ones are now with the Lord in heaven.
Certainly this should comfort us and console us greatly, but I do not agree
with brethren who say that we should not weep and cry at such a time. Here’s
why I believe differently.
Death is not natural. It is unnatural. God created man for
eternity. He was not appointed to die. It was not until man and creation fell
into sin that death entered God’s creation (Genesis 2:17). Death stalks mankind
throughout our lives. Death separates us from those that we love, not forever
but for now. It is only natural then that our reaction to the separation and
horror that is death is to weep.
The Bible is full of examples of God’s faithful servants who
mourn for their dead. Genesis 50:1 shows us Joseph weeping for his dead father,
Jacob. Deuteronomy 34:8 shows us the children of Israel weeping for Moses after
his death. But the most important example is Jesus himself. Luke 19:41-42 shows
us Jesus weeping for the city of Jerusalem. It says, “And when he was come
near, he beheld the city, and wept over it, Saying, If thou hadst known, even
thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! But now
they are hid from thine eyes.” He goes on to prophesy about the destruction of
this city, and the deaths of many of its inhabitants, at the hands of the Roman
legions. He saw the deaths of many in his mind’s eye, and he wept, as a father
weeps for his children.
The most significant, and poignant example of Jesus weeping
for the dead is the story of Lazarus. I always think of Lazarus as a young man,
although scripture doesn’t tell us his age. He was known and loved by Jesus
(Jn. 11:3). Jesus knew and loved this whole family (Jn. 11:5). He had been a
guest in their home many times. Perhaps he had watched Lazarus grow up, during
his travels and ministry. When Jesus saw Mary and Martha in grief, weeping for
their lost brother, he wept also. He joined them in their grief. Why did he
weep? He knew that he was going to raise Lazarus from his grave. The Gospel of
John tells us that Jesus had intentionally waited for Lazarus to die, before
coming to Bethany (Jn. 11:4, 11:11). He knew that he was going to raise him
from the dead, as a demonstration of his power and identity as the Son of God,
the Messiah. So why did he now weep? I think he wept because he was not only
God. He was also man. He wept, because men and women weep when their hearts are
overcome with grief. They weep when they share in the grief of others whom they
love. We weep because God has created us with the capacity to Love. Our weeping
is a physical manifestation (flesh) of the sorrow that we feel in our hearts
(spirit) when we lose Love. In other words, we weep because we Love. If we did
not love, then for what would we weep? For whom would we weep? Perhaps Jesus
wept for another reason also. Perhaps he wept because he knew that Lazarus
would also die again someday. His raising of Lazarus was only temporary, after
all. Someday, he would have to die all over again. He would have to suffer all
over again. Maybe Jesus also wept for him because his need for a demonstration
of God’s power would cost Lazarus another death. We can only guess why Jesus
wept. But he did. Jesus wept (Jn 11:35). Since he wept, we may be assured that
weeping is not weakness, it is not sin, it is Christ like.
So go ahead and cry. There is no blame in it. There is no
weakness in it. It is just a part of life and of humanity, as long as we do not
hide in it, as long as we do not replace our faith with grief. The book of
Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time for everything (Ecc. 3), “A time to
weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” Let’s not be
afraid to weep, when we should weep. Let’s not forget to dance, when it is time
to dance with delight before the Lord. Let’s not be afraid to embrace each
other, when we should embrace. Let’s not miss a chance to Love, ever, in our
lives. Every chance to Love comes just once. Only regret will abide with us, if
we do not Love at every chance.
M.J.
Smith
April 4, 2008
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